Phase Three

That period of life when what was so relevant isn't as relevant. Lighten Up!


What’s This?!   Want to know more About Me?  Okay, so here goes.  A lot of history on my frame, and feeling like I want to record some aspects of it from the then to now to going forward days of my life.

Titled this blog Phase Three as my husband and I are entering what I call the Third Phase of our Adult lives.   More recently, we are encountering the aging years as our bodies quietly (and not so quietly) let us know we just ain’t what we used to be, and cannot do what we used to do.   On a more positive note, though, even as we age, our lives take on redefined meanings, which I can tell you is not easy to do as my definitions of who I am to myself have a lot of years in the making and are not so easy to redefine.

I was my mother’s daughter.   I was a student, loved learning in school.  It was a safe place for me.  Home life was …. well it made little sense.  I was a newlywed wife.  I was wife of Vietnam Veteran when his number came up in the Draft, and off to Vietnam he went.   I was mother to our firstborn, and later to two more.  I was and am Mother.  I was career oriented in the 1970’s days in women’s efforts to break glass ceilings, bra burning,  feminist days.  While I was not militant, I was pleased that such a movement existed, and made it part of my young woman life in the career I chose.  And then life took my family by surprise.  I divorced, and remarried.  There has yet to be adequate healing from the family disruption that caused.  I myself, am child of divorce, several divorces, actually, and know something about how that feels, vowing to not impose similar feelings on my children.  At the time marriages were breaking apart for sometimes arbitrary reasons, and it is pleasing to recognize in today’s times families (generally speaking) are not as likely to break apart.  Even when they do, it is pretty much recognized it is still a 2 parent family, as child(ren) go back and forth between mother and father and extend their sense of family to be more inclusive of the new marriage partners and their families.

I have been wife for almost 50 years.   First marriage of 25 years, second marriage is approaching 25 years.  My current husband is also a Vietnam era Veteran in the days of the Cold War, sworn to secrecy about his missions, etc..  I am a child of the Cold Wars, it does have an impact, and yes, I was among those youngsters at school who were taught to go under their school desks in case of nuclear war.

I am  now retired, as is my husband, financially okay (not secure by any means) and recognizing the retirement years almost beg us towards active lifestyles, no couch watching tv settings for us.  We are considered Boomers, and most recently both of us are feeling the effects of aging.

My mother passed summer of 2017.  I am still in shock, still grieving, still horrified at the loss of her.  She was the core, central person in my life and despite the ups and downs of relationship with her, I just never thought she would leave.   Adjusting to life as a senior aged orphan.   Most recently I have been dx with Diabetes 2, and am putting emphasis at this time on grief, in loss of my mother, and in caregiving her the last two years of her life, that neither she nor I saw coming, and my own genetic disposition to Diabetes.

We are wrapping up much of our volunteer time and activities, planning a move to a different city and state, in hoping to breath renewed life into our own aging years, doing what we can, while we can, having image now of what can happen when we are less able.


One comment on “About

  1. kindcotton
    February 21, 2015

    I can totally relate to your tagline! I am currently in a period of life where my past 10 years of “baby’ rearing are no longer relevant. My kids are pretty independent and can ALL finally sleep through the night and help around the house and make breakfast… It’s wonderful yet it took a while for me to take on the new mom role of older kids! I think I need a poster with that inspirational phrase to remind me to “lighten up” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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